It has been a long time since my last blog update, as you can all see it was last updated on the 29^th March! (cept for the TopGear piccies!) A lot has happened since then. With the aid of a Smurf I will attempt to fill you all in, so grab a cuppa and a broken biscuit (Niki tells me they are calorie free that that way) and I will begin . . .

Thursday 30^th March:

What a shitty day this was! Basically I was flying back to the UK . . . trust me when I say flying east across 9 hours of time difference and 14 hours of cargo class . . . I was not happy . . . Thursday sucked, real bad . . Until I realised it was to be follows by a Friday that would be worse

Friday 31^st March

I rolled off the plane at about 9 am, found my bag and taxi and eventually arrived at the hotel near work at 10:30am, just enough time for a shave, shower, change of clothes and get a lift into work for fish and chips and an afternoon of work . . . Well, that was the plan . . . check in was at 3pm, and no one would pick me up . . . So 15mins later I haul my sorry self into work for a marathon session . . Eventually escaping shortly before 7pm. By that time I could not tell my tit from my elbow! Poor Smurf picked me up, took me back to hers and promptly left me to sleep until noon the next day!

Saturday 1^st April

Thankfully no practical jokes as I was asleep!!! But Tons-O did start his company on this day . . . But the day was spent in a classy way with Smurf, the folks and a few friends. We had a top feed at my parents (Thanks Mum) and then went out for a beer. I did not get a chance to see everyone I wanted, but next time I am over it will be better planned and 100% holiday, not a few hours clawed from a business trip! Mind you Niki was on form after a couple of glasses of red, did you guys ever go back for your GPS?

Thursday 6^th April

Dave made it over to Chelmsford to see me for a beer and a catch up, was a really good night, little wanker came out for a beer too before being summoned back to perform certain duties . . .

Friday 7^th april

Finally all my work commitments were done! I got a night out in Colchester with some totally nutty Physios . . . Firstly I met Smurf and Elle and Dave for a very nice Italian (Cosmopolitan, Chelmsford) then we went on to a pikey-spoon pub in Colchester where the drinking was well underway! I met lots of Smurf friends and colleagues, some smarter then others! One girl came up to me and in a very slow and purposeful manner enquired “Wheeeere - aaaaare - youuuuu – frrrroooom?” To which I had to reply (Enfield . . . LOOOOONDOOOOON). . . .Classic moment!!!

We had a really good time out and about, lots of dancing and drinking, meeting fellow astrophysicists and nutter women that will insist on making me drink random drinks and pour ice down my pants! I think Liz may have been a bit drunk by then, top effort! But at least the ice did not end up in Chris’ drink, unlike Mikes bum ice. . . So much happened, Neil and his catalogue pose, so what is the password??? The molestation on the dance floor . . no names mentioned! It was also good to see Smurf is not the only blonde that gets over affectionate when drunk . . .Teresa . . .

Saturday 8^th

My last day in the UK, what a day! I gave the chance of a round of golf in the morning a miss, but Dave got an ok 7 over par. Ok, ok, a very VERY good 7 over . . . Smurf and I went for a poke around the galleria then met up with Tons-O, Dave and Em for the Spurs Vs Man City game. It was soo funny, each time Tons-O left the room we scored!!! Needless to say some beer was drunk, some crisps and pizza eaten, Spurs won and all was good with the world. . . Until Em mentions the gee-gees . . . Now I will not go in to too much detail but it turns out Em has a bit of a gambling problem. I mean, she bets on the Grand National EVERY YEAR! Em, get help, you have a problem . . .. ! ! ! ! So Tons-O fires up the interspaz, and within 10 mins 5 of us have put 10 quid each way on 5 different horses. . . We spend the next hour watching the build up and laughing manically at Johnny Vegas, and then the horses we chose, oh dear . . . Well Tons-O chose one that was about 3 times the size of the rest, foaming at the mouth and had 4 handlers holding it back. I think it was a Pisces and no Pisces has ever won .. . . Oh, it was number 13 . . . It did not look good . . . It pulled up. Mine and Daves were tipped as favourites, mine fell at the first, Daves at the 5^th. The girls fared better, but no by much, theirs pulled up too . . . So 50 pounds down the drain, but it was worth it to see “Master of Illusion” !!! Now known as Darth Vaders head of security!

We also got a chance to see the new Darth-mobile, with Tons-O, Muppet and their sticks it does grind over the speed bump!!! Next time Dave will have to either miss lunch or walk the last bit!

In the evening Em and Dave came over to Chelmsford and we went for a meal with Smurf, then a drink, another drink etc . . . right up to the point when Em and Dave left we were all good. Smurf and I went to the room so I could pack and, well, basically Smurf could be sick! Very funny! But at least Em managed to re-engage, Poor girl had a hangover for nearly 2 weeks! But Smurf gets the blame.

And that is all for now, I still need to update you all on the last 2 weeks. That has been a fun time, mainly with Smurf who has been out here for a week now! I guess I will do that after we have been boarding in the morning!